My Former Secondary School is a Porn Site

Wah lau eh... 岂有此理!?!

My kawan-kawan say Junyuan Secondary School web site just kena upgraded, got many new things to see. So on Wednesday night, I happy-happy go click-click the URL www.junyuansec.net/ to take a walk down the memory lane lah...

But there is no memory lane there! Instead of seeing my 老学校 and all my 老师 (I call them lao shi but Inever say them lau char bor ok?), I saw many young chio bu all wear sexy clothes; some of them even never wear any clothes!

Wah lau eh!?! What happening sia? How come my former school web site become porn forum leh? Sibeh jialat ah... I always tell my kawan-kawans that that Junyuan Secondary is a good school, now kena like this so pai seh leh... I don't know how many people got see this site... Wah lau eh!?!

Lucky I never go and khong piah straight away; I go and check with AsiaOne Web Site and found out that the website kena hacked and replaced with a pornographic site. Heng ah... I thought my principal and teachers......

But one thing not so heng is that got one STOMPer called John very keen kah keen chew posted some of the screenshots of the porn site on STOMP liao...

Today I go and check again, everything is ok liao; even got photo of my 师妹 get the All-round Excellence Award... Hosay!~

But anyway, I now still a bit tu lan because I never expect them to correct the lapse so face; when I go in the site on Wednesday, I forgot to copy down the contact so now cannot see any more swee char bor... Wah lau eh!?! Chin GY leh...

Ah Tiong Void Deck Reunion Dinner Part 2

Wah lau eh... 岂有此理!?!

If you got read my Ah Tiong Void Deck Reunion Dinner Part 1, you sure think: how come Tu Lan Ming will know what the Ah Tiong eat? Is it the Ah Tiong got invite Tu Lan Ming to eat or maybe Tu Lan Ming share-share his 香肠 with the 小龙女?

If you see the photo on the left then you will know what the Ah Tiongs had for their Void Deck Reunion Dinner lor...

I really pity the Ah Neh uncle who has to clear up the smelly mess these inconsiderate Ah Tiong made omorrow morning lor...

Once again must thank these 害群之马 Ah Tiong that make we all so tulan with the rest of the innocent Ah Tiong here in Singapore... 恭喜发财... Hosay!~

Ah Tiong Void Deck Reunion Dinner Part 1

Wah lau eh... 岂有此理!?!

Last time the void deck is we all kawan-kawan meet up TCSS 的好地方... Now is also Ah Tiong makan Reunion Dinner venue.

Just see this three 好兄弟 (and I am not talking about Seth Rogen-Jay Chou bromance here) sitting around, poon leng and talking in their China accent after their sibeh ho jia home cooked Cheena meal.

From what I could see, they got fish, got soup, got crabs and lots of other bull...

Actually I am not anti-Ah Tiong or racist but if you look at Ah Tiong Void Deck Reunion Dinner Part 2, you will know why I am so tulan already... Wah lau eh!?!

Gu Wak Zai Versus Defenseless Dog

Wah lau eh!?!

Just now got one kawan-kawan send this clip of this tattooed gu wak zai (蛊惑仔) beat up his "toy" dog. I see already sibeh tulan and sad... I am very tulan because whatever wrong it did, the defenseless dog also don't deserve up to 15 minutes of beating from this "hero" lor... If he so beng then maybe he should jio somebody his size or maybe enter the Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC) - like that then more hero lah... Beat up a defenseless dog? Lame!

And you know what is lamer? His girlfriend (can hear her calling him "dear" in the background) take video of his 英雄史 and upload to YouTube... Steady lah Goondu!

I am also sad for his girlfriend because if he can tekan the little doggie so jialat-jialat, who knows, one day he may get angry with his girlfriend and then use HER as a punching bag. By then who will take the video and post on YouTube? The dog maybe? Pity her lah... Either she bo leong sim or she bo bak chew... Either way... Sibeh jialat ah...

Wait... Wait and Wait Somemore...

Wah lau eh!?!

I got driver duty again because today got OT at the office and then this time got our Malaysia colleagues also campur and help us.

So, because everybody skipped lunch, I went to Tampines to tah pow food for everybody in the office. At first I went to tah pow Vegetarian food. Then I went to Block 201 to buy Indian Rojak for our Muslim kawan-kawans at the office.

When I reach the stall, I could not find any tongs to pick the food so I look left, look right, look up and look down, trying to find one of the stall helpers to help me.

But all of them too busy idling.

So I waited...

When I finally got one to help me, he ask one of the stall helpers for it. You know what he ask me to do? He ask me come into the cooking area and take one by myself... Wah lau eh!?! Sibeh jialat ah... How can like this one?

After one of the (busy relak one corner) helpers pass me the tongs, I selected the food and put on the counter for 'busy' stall helpers to attend to me.

Again I waited...

After a short wait of about 10 minutes, one of the stall helpers asked me if I want to makan there or take away. I told him I want to "take away" then I use my big, fat hands to make the tah pow action for him to see. The stall helper nodded his head and then ask me, "Abang, where you sit ah?"

Wah lau eh!?! Like this also can ah?

After explaining to him that I want to packet and take away the food, he put the food at the counter for his colleague to pack it up for me.

So I waited... Again...

Then, got another family order Rojak from another stall helper so the 'new' stall helper push my order aside and then deep fry the family order first... Wah lau eh!?!

He came back, packed up my food into a plastic bag. Eh? No need to deep fry meh? So I asked the guy why mine no need to deep-fry but the family one got deep fry. You know what he say? Because mine bring home; so I can ask my mummy to deep fry... This type of service really hosay!~

I in a hurry so I bo heu lah so I asked for extra chilli sauce. Wah lau eh!?! This guy give me a thirty-cent face then say loud-loud, "Hello Uncle, you order so little and then you want so much sauce ah?"

Then he asked me to pay... This time, no need to way... Hosay!~

Ip Aunt

Wah lau eh!?!

You people got watch the movie Ip Man and Ip Man 2 right? Now got Ip Aunt... Who is Ip Aunt? Wah lau eh!?! You don't know ah? Norh... She's the aunty who use the 连环拳 chain attack to chase the Afro-American char bor down the bus... Hosay!~

After I watch the video, I am so scared to take bus, especially when I see big-sized aunty (if she speak Cantonese, even worse!) Sekali she not happy then she use the 连环拳 chain attack to hantum me then I bo pian have to alight from the bus. Worse... In my hurry, I forgot to "tap out" then I pay full fare for nothing liao... Sibeh jialat ah!

Breast Education

Wah lau eh!?!

I today got nothing to do then I go to the YouTube to watch MTV then I see this video... Wah lau eh!?! Sibeh jialat leh... Got this kind of "education" one meh? See already know is another talking cock video lah... Anyway, all talk English one, a bit hard for me to understand lah...

Lucky for me, like all videos, got picture for me to see. After I see the video, I think that since that kind of boh standard shor hai can find a char bor, so can I... Hosay!~