Bad Romance

Wah lau eh... 岂有此理!?! (>.<)"

Like this also can ah? Got this Malaysian guy (working in Singapore) go online to look for a boyfriend then he kena bluff by his online boyfriend...

 Photograph for illustration purposes only... Hahaha... Hosay!

Oei! Before you think maybe I type wrongly or don't know what is boy and what is girl, check out this AsiaOne article first... I got do research one, ok?  Hahaha... Hosay!

Anyway, this Malaysian guy (newspaper give him fake name called Ian) thought he had found "The One" on the web site, even though he only Yahoo Messenger with the other guy and never heard his voice and never saw his face before... Wah lau eh!?! Sibeh jialat ah... What to do? Love is blind lah and somemore his one market smaller so cannot be too choosy, right?

So when his Ang Mor boyfriend asked for his bank account number so that he can transfer money over to buy iPhone, Ian quickly gave him. If me, I also will give lah cos giving out bank account number is nothing one right? They only can transfer money in but cannot take our money out... But anyway, I an not gay and I don't have much money in my bank so I not scared... Hahaha... Hosay!

Sekali, this Ang Mor is not take money out from Ian account but he actually really put in money into Ian's account... He deposited more than $82,000 into Ian's account leh... Steady lah!!!

But hor, don't happy first lah... You think Ang Mor so good ah? Put all the money into Ian's account, ask him buy one iPhone and then suah suah kee ah (forget the whole matter)? Then the Ang Mor sent his friend with some grandmother story asking Ian to transfer the money into other accounts.

Now Ian kena investigated by the Commercial Affairs Department (CAD) for money laundering... Wah lau eh!?! Sibeh jialat ah... (~_~;)

McToilet

Wah lau eh!?!

Just now my kawan-kawan from Japan ask me what is a Samurai Burger? He asked me McDonald's got sell this kind of burger meh?

I thought Japanese sure know what is Samurai Burger mah so maybe he trying to jee siao me one... Sekali he really don't know... Then I go Google for the McDonald's Samurai Burger advertisement for him to see lah... My 早安老师 got teach me before - a picture tells a thousand words... Fwah!!! If video (moving pictures) sure tell at least ten thousand words lah... Hahaha... Hosay!

And then I found this video... 

Wah lau eh!?! What the two people do in the toilet sia? How come the McDonald's Manager so angry ah? Sibeh jialat ah... (~_~;)

Who Want This Uncle's Job?

Wah lau eh!?!

Uncle! You kena this kind of job also you complain? Why like that lah... If got chance ah I also want your job lah... Every day also got the chance to have a hands-on... Hahaha... Hosay!
 

Who also want this job? Khee chiu... Khee chiu...

Hehehe... Steady lah!!! (^_^)y

Is Your Doctor Like This?

Wah lau eh!?!

I damn lucky my doctor can understand my Hokkien ah... If my neighbourhood doctor macham this Uncle Muthu and the nurse like this 大白鲨 (Great White Shark), I either vomit blood or become deaf... Hahaha... Hosay!~<3

Ok lah... Better go koonz liao... Later got more time then update my blog again... Steady lah!!! (^_^)y

WWE Match Made in Singapore - Part 2

Wah lau eh!?!

This one is continue from my the other day post, WWE Match Made in Singapore? between two very famous Singaporeans - Aaron Tan and Steven Lim.

Aaron made this video to respond to Steven's one-by-one match challenge.

Later got more then update... Steady lah!!! (^_^)y

WWE Match Made in Singapore?

Wah lau eh!?!

In two weeks time (19 Feburary 2012), got the WWE Elimination Chamber Match at the Bradley Centre in Milwaukee but here in Singapore, we also got the "match" between Steven "I am a Super Star" Lim and Aaron "Priest lah!" Tan... Hahaha... Steady lah!!!

They two jio each other on YouTube really macham last time 1990s WWF wrestling promo like that... Don't believe me? Watch Aaron Tan's video... It's a bit long so priest lah...

Don't say I bo standard, post half-half ok? So 呢... Please 呢... Watch 呢... Because Steven Lim really don't like people call him Ah Gua...


So how? Who you all support?

Hahaha... Hosay!~<3

Why We Cannot Fall in Love with Our Teachers

Wah lau eh!?!

Yesterday I was clearing up my room and then I found this love letter that I sent to my Kindergarten teacher when I was still a little Ming Ming (小明明). At that time, I thought that my teacher would be the love of my life so I borrowed my lau peh's Parker Pen and then I wrote the first composition of my life...

But you see what happen?

In the end, my masterpiece come back become 满江红! And she didn't even give me the chance to tong pang her on my kah lah chia or let me clean the blackboard any more... Wah lau eh!?! (>.<)"

So the moral of the story is: If your English sama-sama my my broken Rojak market English, please don't kau the teacher. Maybe you got the better luck kau the mee see or the 空姐.

Chin GY leh... Sibeh jialat ah... (>.<)"

BMW also can get Menses

Wah lau eh!?!

I thought that only living things can kena menses... Then I saw this photograph online... This BMW licence plate covered with a piece of loh tee...

When the female driver was caught, she told the 警察叔叔 she use the loh tee because she know she will be speeding and did not want her photo to be snapped by the speed camera.

"This is the only thing I had; it's sticky, so it won't fall off," she said.

And you know how much she kena fined? 400 yuan (S$81.6)

For more details, click here... Steady lah!!! (^_^)y

Two Dollars Where Got Enough?

Wah lau eh... 岂有此理!?! (>.<)"

The other day, I went to Yishun and then I saw this guy in a wheelchair macham very cham like that so I try to be ho sim and then give him two-dollars.

Photograph taken from AsiaOne website

Usually when you give money to beggars, they will either nod their head or say thank you but this one... Really steady lah... You know he tell me?

"Two dollars where got enough? Give five dollars lah!"

Wah lau eh!?! How can like that one? My teacher last time got tell me that beg is like humbly ask for something. He like that talk to me where got humble? More like he more sombong than humble lah...

Sekali I read from the AsiaOne website, this guy got kena S$660,000 TOTO in November last year one... Then he use his winnings to buy S$300,000 three-room flat in Ang Mo Kio, got car and expensive watch. He lagi richer than me... I still wearing my old Citizen watch leh... Got one time he even take out a S$1,000 note to buy kopi at the coffeeshop. So atas!

Like that he still need to come out and beg meh?

Anyway, next time you go to Yishun-Chompang area, just watch out for this guy lah... Hosay!~<3

DIY Fork

Wah lau eh!?!

The other day, one of my colleagues blanjah me eat the canned cocktail fruits.

He opened the can and then pass it to me. Then I asked him - how to eat? Use my hand or leg?

The guy went to his table and then take all the paper clips and make a fork for me...

Steady lah!!! (^_^)y

Road Rage Bentley Driver is Training for Street Fighter

Wah lau eh!?! (>.<)"

I just read that the Bentley Driver in Road Rage Incident is RBS Exec and I think that everybody is just 大惊小怪 because they don't know the real story behind this case.

Madam Wang say she filter out of the Central Expressway (CTE) in her white Mercedes Benz into Braddell Road when a blue Bentley sekali cut into her lane and then zham brake, then she also bo pian need to zham brake.

Then an Ang Mor got out of the blue Bentley zhao chai and slammed his bare fist into her car windscreen. You see the photo? The windscreen all spiderweb already... The Ang Mor's punch sibeh power right?

Madam Wang also got say... "I was shocked by his behaviour and shocked that he could actually damage the windscreen using his bare hand. And I was afraid that he would hit me too."

They say this Ang Mor is RBS Head of Credit Structuring and Repackaging for Asia-Pacific., Mr Stefan Masuhr.

Actually, not many people know that Stefan Masuhr secret identity is really Ken Masters and he is training for the Street Fighter Tournament! And the reason why Stefan is so tulan is because he saw this video posted by Ryu on YouTube...

After he see the video, he sibeh hot... How can Ryu cheat and use the Yoga Fire and Yoga Flame? 岂有此理！See already he gwee pat thor hwei ah... And then sway-sway he kena cut lane by Madam Wang so he use her white Mercedes Benz as practice punching bag lor... Wah lau eh!?! (>.<)"

Flash What? EZ-Link Card ah?

Wah lau eh!?! (>.<)"

My mother always say - eh jia eh pang - so after my makan session with my kawan-kawan, I went to the wash room to release pressure.

Then when I inside the cubicle I saw this sign... Ask me to flash before I leave wor...

Flash what wor? EZ-Link card ah?

Chin GY leh...

$35 for a Plate of Chicken Rice

Wah lau eh 岂有此理!?!

My CEO wife come to Singapore again. So, as usual, I kena arrow to drive CEO 太太 around. Now my CEO got a new "idea" - he want to open a shop in maybe Orchard Road or some other shopping area and then let his daughter run it. He say that this is the best way to let her learn the ropes.

Wah lau eh!?! Open shop got to use rope one meh? The rope is for what? Put the Milo tin cash box one ah? Anyway, it's not my job to ask; just bring CEO 太太to see which shop is the most steady one then 下定金 and chiam miah.

By the lunch time, CEO 太太 already very hungry so ask me to bring her go the Chatterbox at Mandarin Orchard to eat the famous chicken rice.

You know people say, "一分钱，一分货" is real one... When the bill come, I almost kon kah kiau ah! You see the chicken rice smell so nice, looks so sedup but do you know how much for one set or not?

S$35.00 ok!

Don't play-play ah... If you ask me, I think I still prefer the S$2.00 one; maybe still got chance to win iPad2 leh! At the end of the makan, my tau kay soh just pay for the bill without even blinking... Sibeh steady lah!!! (^_^)y

Anyway, I got hear one customer complain why the chicken rice so expensive; last time S$17.50 but now almost double the price. Wah... I really think nowadays people very rich... S$17.50 also kum jia... Steady lah!!! (^_^)y

Anyway, for me, the makan is free so... Hosay!~<3

Office Depot Mascot

Wah lau eh... 岂有此理!?!

The other day, one of my kawan-kawan ask me want to earn some extra money or not?

I, of course replied, something here inside, cannot be denied... My reply steady right? I learn from the karaoke one but you all don't think the hum sup ok?

I was talking about the wallet in my pocket... Empty liao so asking me to go out earn more money... Hahaha... Hosay!~<3

So anyway, I did the job but hor... Whole day long sure got people come and kacau my pencil.

Why ah? Chin GY leh... (>.<)"

Cathay Pacific Aircraft Sex

Wah lau eh!?! (>.<)"

I thought this type of thing only happen in the porn movie but now Cathay Pacific (Hong Kong) said it had launched a "full investigation" into photos showing their flight attendant doing the oral sex on a pilot aboard an aircraft.

Of course the photos not the guan chng one... All kena the mosaic, just like the Japanese porn like that; several pixellated photos of the flight attendant doing the 吹喇叭 act on the pilot were published in Hong Kong Chinese-language media. Sibeh happening sia! No wonder last time my Ah kong advised me to become a pilot. Why I never listen to him? Wah lau eh!?! (>.<)"

For more details, click here.

Drunk Father Lets 8-year-old Son Drive Pick-up Truck

Wah lau eh!?!

This guy really steady lah!!!

First, he go lim jiu, he bring his son along... What you trying to prove? You want to teach your son to become the next mabuk king is it? 8 years old only leh... Hello? Siao ah?

Then, after he chwee already, he just slept in his pick-up truck and let his 8 year-old son drive it on a southeast Louisiana highway.

Some more ah... his 4 year-old daughter was in the back seat!

This type of father really chin GY leh... Wah lau eh!?! (>.<)"

What's Your Price?

Wah lau eh!?!

Just now one of my kawan-kawan show me a photo of this sibeh swee, sibeh leng, sibeh chio girl and then ask me how much I want to pay for the Ice Breaker?

At first, I thought this one is like the Sharon Stone movie, the girl will take the pokey-pokey ice breaker thingy to prick people...

So of course I say I don't want lah! Sekali he tell me this is a real online site where "'generous' members offer from US$20 (S$24) to even US$1,000 for a date and the 'attractive' ones can then either accept or decline the offer."

I look at the site... Wah! Sibeh steady lah!!! Got Forbes, got Time, got NBC, ABC and even Playboy leh! Wah!!! Join this site can jio the Playboy Bunny Girl go out kai-kai leh!

But... Everything has got the price one so is like no money, no talk lah!

At first I think Ang Mors nowadays have very good money-making ideas... Sekali my kawan-kawan tell me that the founder of this web site is actually Brandon Wey, a Singapore-born 40-year-old now migrated to the US...

Singaporean... No wonder lah... Hosay!~<3

BK Chicken Vs Angry Girlfriend

Wah lau eh!?!

I wonder if anybody can still remember this guy got caught on video kena hantum jialat-jialat by his girlfriend repeatedly on him ding-dong bells? If you cannot, then maybe you want to read my previous posting "Don't Make Girl Lexus Driver Tu Lan".

This two people so famous that even Peter Chao, who is in Canada, also talk about the angry Lexus Girl in his video blog, "Chinese Guy is WHIPPED!"

Now, almost two years later, Burger King also got something to say about them. Just watch this clip below lah... Hahaha... Hosay!~<3

Hahaha... Never chicken out... With the King, you can... Steady lah!!! (^_^)y

You Want to Sit in My Class? Get an iPad!

Wah lau eh... 岂有此理!?!

My friend tell me her daughter just called her from Shanghai and told her that her university lecturer told the class, "You want to sit in my class? Get an iPad!"

According to her daughter, Mr Henry Liang, who teaches finance in English at the Shanghai Maritime University, issued this notice on his microblog last Friday: "In next semester, all tests and resources will be presented in iPad format only."

Mr Henry Liang says that "iPad represents the latest trend and superiority, so do my chosen students," he wrote. If you don't have one, take part-time work to buy one; if you cannot earn merely 4,000 yuan (S$750) in the two-month summer vacation, you are not suitable to learn finance or be my students."

He also ordered men to wear suits and women to wear simple make-up in class to prepare themselves for their future jobs in the finance industry. This guy is Hitler in the making... Steady lah!!! (^_^)y

So now, my friend kan cheong want to either send money to her daughter in Shanghai or buy an iPad here and ship it back to Shanghai...

But I think this lecturer like that say also bueh gum... Cos he like that say macham look down on the poor although some admire his unusual teaching methods.

Internet user Koralle, who claimed to have attended Mr Liang's class and lectures, told Shanghai Daily: "He is a rare good teacher with his own thoughts, though he is sometimes very radical."

After kena complain, Mr Liang got change his microblog ID and deleted the posts. But he also wrote this: "iPad will still be brought into classroom. Formal wears are still required. I still keep all my opinions as yesterday. Nothing changes! You can claim victory in tongue, but nothing more." (sic)

When Shanghai Daily contacted the teacher on Monday, what he said differed from what he had posted online.

He said: "I deleted some posts because I realised that I used some inappropriate words. I wrote in English because I only want my students to read it. It's not for the public. I don't care about their criticism.

I am not studying in the Shanghai Maritime University so I no comment but if my friend's daughter look like the girl in the photograph, I pass her the iPad 2 that I will win from the Chicken Rice Lucky Draw lah... Hosay!~<3

Eat $2 Chicken Rice, Win iPad 2

Wah lau eh!?!

It's real one ok? Genuine stuff, cannot bluff... Just now I went to the 2nd Street Cafeteria at Block 970A Toa Payoh North to makan the chicken rice and I saw them put this sign say that you "Simply buy Chix Rice @ $2 and win iPad 2"... Steady lah!!! (^_^)y

And it's not the cheapo, entry models ok? What they are giving away is iPad 2 64GB with Wi-Fi and 3G (selling at $1,108 at Apple stores).


After I buy the chicken rice, they give me a feedback form, ask me to complete and then attach the receipt.

So for today, I be a good son, brother, nephew, colleague and worker, etc. I buy many-many packets of the Chicken Rice and give to all my kawan-kawans... Altogether I think spend about S$1,106; still $2 cheaper than buying an iPad 2 from the Apple Store and I got 553 chances of winning wor... Hosay!~<3

They say the price of the chicken rice will revert to the regular price of $3 on Aug 1. Eat more, got more chances of winning leh...

So who want to join me for lunch? Tomorrow last day, you know?

Steady lah!!! (^_^)y