My Tutor is a Prostitute

Wah lau eh!?!

Before you scold me and say I am a cheeko peh, please watch the video first.


Hey, if you want private lessons just call my tutor directly; you know, prostitution is just her part-time job.

Haha! So Brother Shrek, shall I make an appointment for you?

Schoolgirl Molested and Forced to Pose Topless

Wah lau eh!?!

This one Malaysia really boleh!

Three 17-year old male students brought their female classmate to the school kum pang keng storeroom and took turns to touch the girl's breasts and private parts. They still 火上加油 and forced the 17-year-old girl to pose topless for them. Using a handphone camera, they then took photographs of her before circulating the pictures to other handphone users around Segamat, Johor.

The incident, which took place during the school's sport day in February but was only uncovered on May 26, when the girl saw the picture in her fiance's handphone.

She then lodged a police report on the day. Police nabbed three suspects at 3am the next day to facilitate investigation.

Normally I will crack some dirty joke about the whole incident but this time I think it's 太过分了 because of a few reasons:

• - They already had their fun; why take photos?
• - After they have taken the photos, why circulate?
• - How come the photo is being circulated to her fiance?
• - Why didn't her fiance "react" to the photo?
  

Chin GY leh...

Online Reference: AsiaOne Web Site on Saturday, May 31, 2008

FHM: Girl Next Door 2008

Wah lau eh!?!

So many girls, so little time right? The results are out - some of you are belly happy can soh pa tor. Some of you, just like me - tu lan because your favourite wet dream never win.

But, winners and losers, don't say I never take care of my Club Hyundai kakis... I've decided to put them all on my blog so that you all can see them for one more time...

Naomi Liu, 23, Lady of Leisure (Fire Woman) says:
"I like a guy who drives a Nissan Fairlady wearing a doctor's uniform ."

Cindy Lee, 24, Admin Assistant (Taxi Driver) says:
"I like a guy who drives a Honda Integra wearing a pilot's uniform ."

1st Runner Up! Cordelia Low, 20, Student (Playboy Bunny) says:
"I like a guy who drives a R8, SLK or McLaren wearing a school boy's uniform ."

Merry Chen, 28, Pre-school Operation Secretary (Doctor) says:
"I like a guy who drives a BMW Sports in a football jersey."

Sindy Ang, 18, Student / Free-lance Model (Devil) says:
"I like a guy who drives a Lamborghini wearing a business suit."

Vanessa Goh, 19, Student (Cow Girl) says:
"I like a guy who drives a Fairlady, GTR or a Golf GTI in a football jersey."

Eva Ang, 22, Model (Nurse) says:
"I like a guy who drives a MPV wearing a policeman's uniform ."

GND Winner! Mandy Soong, 19, Student (Police Woman) says:
"I like a guy who drives a Audi R8 wearing a bank's uniform ."

Jasmine Ang, 21, Beauty Consultant (Cat Model?) says:
"I like a guy who drives a Mercedes SLK wearing a doctor's uniform ."

2nd Runner Up! Elyn Chong, 21, Student (Angel?) says:
"I like a guy who drives a Audi TT wearing AC's uniform ."

Call Who Summon?

Wah lau eh!?!

This type of situation... how ah?

Actually to be fair, Peh Tao also got good ones; not every one of them want to summon and summon and summon. I remember got one time, I was riding my kup chai when I got stopped by Uncle Sam. He told me that my kup chai rear lamp blown. Actually he could have given me some written notice but he just tell me to get it fixed and rode off.

Nice guy lah.

So for the above Tee Pee - how ah? For me, I think that sometimes rules can bend one; so long as they never break any serious offense like talk on mobile phone while driving, dangerous driving, etc. Pang chance lah...

What do you think?

Online Reference: Stomp Web Site on Thursday, May 29, 2008

Full SEXamination by Nurse

Wah lau eh!?!

Like that also can ah?

Stomper Joyce received SMS say got nurse can give "full examination"... So, of course Joyce called up SingTel, Starhub and M1 to complain about it cos she never subscribe and she thinks that it is "an offence to promote sex service or sex chatline in Singapore". Heng she never call the Police or the poor nurse mei mei will be out of a job... No job very poor thing one you know?

Actually she should have called me so that I can contact the nurse for a thorough, head-to-toe check up!

Oops! Er... Sorry sorry... What I intended to say was: she should have called me so that I tell her where the nearest Police Post is.


Pai seh pai seh... Sometimes the mind think faster than the mouth... Hehehe...

Online Reference: Stomp Web Site on Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Not so CIVIC-minded Driver

Wah lau eh!?!

Just look at how this aunty park her car? This is what my Chinese teacher would say: 没有公德心 or not civic-minded. In this case, the aunty is really driving a Honda Civic!

Got people like her then we all drivers mia siah chow (give drivers a bad name).

According to the Stomper, the aunty claimed to be waiting for somebody. Hence, she probably figured that it wouldn't hurt to park on two lots cos it's going to be "for a while only mah!"

To top off her act, according to the Stomper, the aunty even said to him:

"Want to take picture, take lah. It's a $100K car, I can park it anyway I want. Don't be red eye just because you cannot afford one."

Her Honda Civic worth how much - I don't know. What I know is: the licence plate only got three numbers. If anybody knows the missing number or the winning combination, tolong tolong tell me! We can share on 4D. Teo liao ho say - we can also have a $100K car of our own!

Online Reference: Stomp Web Site on Tuesday, May 27, 2008

English Lessons

Wah lau eh!?!

I know my English is very bad - 阿猫、阿狗 also make fun of the way I talk and spell. They visit my blog and then they shake my head - this type of ka siao also dare to write blog, bueh kia lang chio meh?

I hear already I want to give up and surrender - just started blogging then kena splash cold water. But look at the signs below, I know there is still hope for me.

If I dead then how? Look for the Undertaker or Kane ah?

Having fun is a sin - people who have fun usually burn in Hell!

No wonder I heard something from Ah Kong and Ah Ma's room the other night...

Horny devils - there IS a cure and it's not found in a can.

You can die but if the chair is not in position and the table is dirty, we'll sue you!

I Want to Join Friends in Girls' Home

Wah lau eh!?!

All you chiko pehs and lau tee kohs after you read my title and see the photo on the left, start to have funny thoughts already right?

You think what? You want to go Girls' Home then go ah? Your grandfather - Oops! - I mean your grandmother's place is it?

And, anyway, the photo is just my way of catching your attention just like those zhong guo mei give night prowlers in Geylang half ball then make away with half of their CPF money... Haha!

Actually I am NOT referring to myself but an article I read on AsiaOne website about this 15-year-old girl who volunteer to be put into a Girl's Home so that she could be with her friends.

I thought this type of kang tau only happen in Hong Kong movies where the hero (or in this case heroine) breaks the law so that he (or she) can join her kakis in jail. Some of the reel life must have rubbed off in real life because now this 15-year-old girl is following suit.

So what's next? Anybody out there reading this blog want to rob a bank together - maybe they will give us better rates?

Online Reference: AsiaOne Web Site on Monday, May 26, 2008

Hyundai Genesis Coupe Makes Korean Debut

Wah lau eh!?!

Who says Hyundai cars cannot make it? The latest Hyundai Genesis Coupe is a huge improvement from its Hyundai Scoupe days. The Hyundai Genesis Coupe will go on sale in Korea this September, followed by the US. I wonder when it will be made available in Singapore?

Miracle Makeup

Wah lau eh!?!

Next time you guys go out to sian mei mei, please be very careful hor... you never know; maybe she is not a mei mei but an auntie! So please be careful before you tell her you love her cos by the time she removes her makeup, it's too late to apologise... it's too late...

Plain Jane becomes Sophisticated Mary

Ugly Duckling becomes Swan Princess

Market Aunty becomes Catwalk Queen

Girl-next-door becomes Hi-class Babe

Study Mama becomes Mama-Miah

Moral of the story: Auntie, shen shen and ma cik all undergo some makeup can also become chio bu!

(Actually some of them still border-line case but give them some pak pok for effort...)

I'm Too Sexy for My Uniform

Wah lau eh!?!

Like this called sexy ah? Pok Kai lah... I wonder what the Malaysian people complaining about. You just look at the bunch of biao meis in the photograph - got any one of them make you got feeling want to go Geylang? No right? So means what? Means: I think they are over-reacting again lah.

If you go to read the article, you will see that this particular group blame that the school uniforms "encouraged rape and pre-marital sex". Aiyo, no self control just say tak boleh tahan - everybody will understand one... Don't say until the girl purposely want to wear such uniforms to get abang adek attraction.

Lucky Malaysia got at least one person still very leng cheng post a very long comment on The Star Online to disagree with the group saying that the school uniforms are is sexy and that "girls are using the school uniform as a tool to attract men to them". I wonder is the biao mei want the attention or those lau tee kohs deliberately give them attention!?!

Chin GY leh...

Hijacked from Brother Thexder's Topic/Thread (Club Hyundai) on Thursday, May 22, 2008

Singapore Traffic Police Latest Weapon?

Wah lau eh!?!

Tell me it's not true... Singapore Traffic Police now using Nissan Skyline GTR to chase speedsters and chiongsters?

Some more the road sign got Upper Aljunied Road, Paya Lebar Road and Airport Road... The police car got licence plate number some more leh...

Can anybody tell me choon bo or is it another Photoshop prank on the Internet?

If it's true then chin GY leh...

Computer Suddenly Died

Wah lau eh!?!

Talk about sway man... Tonight I was thinking rush home to update my blog and read up on some stuff when my computer suddenly died on me. Ho pai mai pai; I just on it then it show "Blue Screen of Death"! lang sway chi jiao bian gong qway (人衰养鸟、鸟变成公鸡).

Lucky for me my brother friend is IT 高手 so he come over to fix my computer. But then by the time he finish all the format lah, partition lah - all the IT jargon, time for me to visit Grandfather Zhou (周公) liao... How to blog like that man!?! I want to type more but my eyes are like goldfish eyes and my brain switch on screen saver already.

Haha... Chin GY leh...

Fake Too-boh Installation

Wah lau eh!?!

Today I thought want to go install after-market product that will increase air flow rate in my car and then enjoy fake turbo. Sekali I call the guy who install the device. Wah liew... first of all he like don't have any customer service lor... He talk to me like I asking for freebie like that. Then he say his place is far far away and he keep on asking me what time I can go because he very busy today and he cannot just wait for my car. I also never ask him to wait; I where got ask him to wait - I only ask him si mi si kan (what time)... In the end, he say if I can't make it today then I go tomorrow. I say "ok" then I put down the phone.

I know I sound like an Ah Beng but then hor, when I talk to him I also a bit 低声下气 because I am asking him what time is more suitable for him to do my car. But then, he talk like I owe him money or his too-boh device made of diamonds and pearls, so forget it lah... I don't need his 10% fuel economy increase. Got money to drive car, must have money to pump petrol.

Haha!

Chin GY leh...

Fuel Prices Go Up (again)...

Wah lau eh!?!

Prices of petrol and diesel have gone up again! Ji bai siao liao (这次疯了)

Actually my friends say I also don't believe then I go around and check: confirm + guarantee chop! Now even if I drive Picanto or Subaru Viki, I also teng khor (脱裤)... Everywhere price go up by 2 cents (for petrol) and 10 cents (for diesel). Like that sure die one... Maybe must modify to CNG to cut down on costs liao! Or maybe take sa leng chai (trishaw).

Chin GY leh...