Thursday, 4 September 2008

A Good Lunch!

Wah lau eh!?!

Usually I need to drink a lot of kopi to stay awake. Today my Admin Exec is not around so the boss ask me to man the office. Si beh jia lat you know... Motor I know how to ride, dispatch I know how to send but ask me sit in the office answer calls and do paperwork... Chee pai siao liao!

Heng ah! God sent me an angel today - she keep me company all the way through lunch and beyond. Now I feel a few hundred grams lighter because I never eat lunch. (and I don't feel hungry). Also, don't know why leh... I chat with her online, I also feel very cheng seen... No need much coffee for today. Hosay lah!

I look outside and it looks cloudy - I hope that she and her white knight won't get caught in the rain...

Haiz... Telephone ring again... Next time then blog lah...

I wish this world got more angels like her! Bless you!

Thursday, 14 August 2008

Singapore Got This Type of Promoters?

Wah lau eh!?!

"Employees of British cosmetics manufacturer 'Lush', wearing only aprons, talk to tourists in front of a shop in Berlin, August 13, 2008, as part of a campaign to use less packaging for beauty products and toiletries."

I wonder if can find this type of promoters in Singapore or not? Haha...

Sunday, 27 July 2008

Evolution X Stolen

Wah lau eh!?!

Don't know what to say man... My friend lent out his brand new Evolution X to a third party. Last week, that guy called my friend up and say that the Evolution was lost. When my friend ask for the car keys back, that guy say that he dropped the keys, that's why the car got stolen. The last known location was Clementi / Commonwealth area.

Chin GY leh!?! This type of storyline - what keys dropped then car got jacked - I think only quite possible for CSI lor! Now my friend siao liao... Still need to pay for monthly installment while the car is missing.

So please... Any kind soul out there see a white Mitsubishi Evolution X with the licence plate SJD 9722 B, please message me!

Tuesday, 22 July 2008

Like That Also Can?

Wah lau eh!?!

Just now went to east area to give something to my kaki (not Serfly, although his area very happening also) then I saw this pasted on the notice board - not at one block but all the surrounding blocks. This is the job of one or many angry char bors! Once again all of you guys must be reminded: please don't make char bor tu lan because they tu lan, they are not like Tu Lan Ming, they won't blog it out, they will take revenge!

Anyway, really power sia... I didn't know my kaki got this kind of neighbour leh! The photo is those studio pic some more leh - very professional and stylo-milo. Too bad no colour or else can see more clearly. I think from tomorrow onwards I must find more excuses to go my kaki place and look around; just wondering if anybody want to follow me and stake out the place until his neighbour appears.

Come to think about it... I think maybe tomorrow I have a fever; need to take MC lah... Haha!

Monday, 21 July 2008

The Dark Knight

Wah lau eh!?!

DC comics sure can fight with Marvel comics! Just when I thought Iron Man was my new hero, they came up with the Dark Knight. Compared to the older Batman, this version is very cool. On one hand, he tries to be the hero or ho lang of Gotham City; on the other, he has to suffer in silence because the girl he loves is going to marry somebody else. It's like siong sim tiang lang zai.

The Joker is also another power character - he is a siao lang but not those fa fa tin, bo nao type but one who is cold and calculating and able to twist other people's minds. This movie is not like those old movies where the ho lang is ho lang and the pai lang is pai lang - there are also many twists in the story where you really need to concentrate and listen to what they are talking to understand what the real story is about.

Heng ah! I brought along my 军师 whose ang mor is better than me and can do translation when the talking gets a bit too chim for me. There's also a cameo of Edison Chen for all you groupies and Singapore's own Ng Chin Han.

My favourite character in the movie is the butler Alfred, who gives very good advice to Bruce Wayne and protects him all the way, even to the extent of burning the letter that Rachel wrote. Anyway, in case you didn't notice, the actress playing Rachel Dawes is not the same as the one in Batman Begins but who cares right?

Overall this is a very enjoyable movie and worth me paying for the dinner, popcorn and drinks.

Hosay!

Test Drive: Mitsubishi Lancer EX 1.5 MIVEC

Wah lau eh!?!

Finally got the chance to try out the new Mitsubishi Lancer EX and on Malaysian roads some more leh! Power sia... To me, compared to the previous generation of Lancers, this generation looks more sporty both inside and outside - song song kau Jalan Nakhoda.

Based on the Mitsubishi's Concept X design blueprint, first seen in 2005 at the Tokyo Motor Show, the new Lancer brings the car into the 21st century. The front grille is inspired by a jet fighters air intake while the slim line headlight design adds an aggressive, purposeful element to the front end. It presents a front end look that is measured sportiness and sophistication.

It's a larger car than the previous generation Lancer and shares the Outlander's platform. It's 60 mm wider, 35 mm longer and 35 kg heavier than the previous generation. But I feel that because it is larger and heavier, the 1.5 litre engine is under-powered and the CVT is a bit sluggish at low speeds (must try the 2.0 GT version). You want to use the EX play pick-up with any Malaysian Kancil or Perodua, you better teng choo koon... But after the (disappointing) initial acceleration, cruising through Malaysia roads in the new Lancer EX is very fun; it feels more stable than the older generation Lancer and other smaller cars. So if you like to drive like Sunday School Teacher, then this car is the car for you!

Got one complaint is that the engine noise is quite loud and there is a lot of vibration in the cabin but nevermind because the sound system will camouflage the noise!

Anyway, mai hiam lah... the Mitsubishi Lancer EX is still good ride; anytime better compared to my trusty kup chai lah...

Saturday, 19 July 2008

How Long Does It Take For Pain to Go Away?


Wah lau eh!?!

I just came back from Kallang Leisure Park K-Box. Really regret going there. It's not because the place no good or the food no good. Actually, the buffet was quite good lor - S$ 30.00 ++ got Japanese food, got Western - mai hiam liao lah... The reason why I so emo is because of a song I sang just now.

It's by called "你的背包" Eason Chan (陳奕迅) - a really nice song that I liked.

As I read the lyrics when I sang the song, I start to remember things that I thought I have forgotten already after so many years...

一九九五年, 我们在机场的车站
你借我 而我不想归还
那个背包 载满纪念品和患难
还有摩擦留下的图案
你的背包 背到现在还没烂
却成为我身体另一半

千金不换 它已熟悉我的汗
它是我肩膀上的指环
背了六年半 我每一天陪它上班
你借我 我就为你保管
我的朋友 都说 它旧得很好看
遗憾是它已与你无关

你的背包 让我走得好缓慢
终有一天陪著我腐烂
你的背包 对我沉重的審判
借了东西为什么不还

I can't remember what I was doing in 1995 but I remembered my ex-girlfriend gave me this silver ring when we were in Sec 4 that I hang at my pencil case. Looking at it now, it's bent and out of shape - only I can remember how many years it spent with me. It has become a part of my pencil case, a part of me liao...

I remember my birthday some years back, my mother bought me a gold ring. She say is to replace the ring that I hang at my pencil case; I told her it's ok and I don't want to replace it. She doesn't know that this ring is special.

Then this sentence in the song made me cry: I waited for this girl for SIX YEARS - just like in the song; during this six years, the out-of-shape silver ring followed me to school, to NS, to work, every single day and whoever saw it say that it's a bent ring, can throw away but I just smiled even though the person who gave me the silver ring wouldn't even give a damn if I threw it away.

Never expect I can become so emo after so many years... I went to the car park and as I was about to go home, as if God wanted to let me cry unnoticed, it started to rain...

你的背包 对我沉重的審判 借了东西为什么不还...

Thursday, 10 July 2008

Zhang Ziyi is Engaged

Wah lau eh!?!

All those people 谙恋 Zhang Ziyi can go home and jia ka kee liao... Her her fiancé Vivi Nevo has confirmed the rumor on Tuesday that they are engaged, adding that a wedding is being planned for next year.

Vivi Nevo, a low-key billionaire stockholder of Time Warner, made the rarely high-profile announcement while attending the annual conference of Allen & Company in Sun Valley, Idaho, the Associated Press reported.

Moral of the story?

You want to tackle successful 北姑, you must be a rich ang mor or else bo chance lah!

Wednesday, 9 July 2008

Please Check Your Girlfriend's Age

Wah lau eh!?!

Nowadays very wee hiam leh. If you want to hanky-panky with your "schoolgirl" girlfriend, wait first.

Do the following:

STOP and ask for identification first
CHECK her Identification Card or Student Pass
CONFIRM she is "legal age" then continue

If you don't do the above, teo cheng don't blame anybody but yourself - who ask you never check? Especially if you are chew cheng type, even worst!

23-year-old Pradip Kumar Pathak didn't do the above checks so he was fined $6,000 on Tuesday for having sex with a 15-year-old girl he met over a popular internet chatline. He could have been jailed for up to five years and fined up to $10,000 for having sex with a girl below 16.

In early April last year, they went to the Siloso Beach and had consensual sex. She told him she was 17 years old and he believed her.

The following month, teo tai jee liao, the victim's mother suspected that the victim was pregnant and accompanied her to a polyclinic. The pregnancy test was positive and the girl admitted that Pathak was the father. Never ask for ID check lah... Hosay...

The girl's father confronted Pathak who begged for mercy and promised to marry her once she turned 18. Pathak was arrested on Jan 17 after the victim's father made a report.

Lesson learnt: Always check IC - girl when itchy or curious can say anything one; better to play safe (not ask you to play safe means buy Durex although that is also important lah).

Simple check don't want to do right? Pay fine and go to jail lor!

Don't play play ok?

Tuesday, 8 July 2008

They Want Fiona Xie's Breasts

Wah lau eh!?!

When we look at Fiona Xie, our girlfriends or wives get very jealous. Now we got proof that even girls also talk about Fiona.


Dr JJ Chua, a plastic surgeon who runs his private practice, the JJ Chua Rejuvenative Cosmetic & Laser Surgery, at Mount Elizabeth Hospital is also the consultant on a new TV serial about plastic surgery.

Dr Chua claims to have 'enhanced' several MediaCorp stars and that doesn't include other local showbiz denizens like models, beauty queens, deejays, singers, comperes, fashion designers and stylists, as well as artistes who have retired or resigned from MediaCorp.

Says Dr JJ Chua:

"I can't tell you how many patients think her breasts are to die for. She's without doubt the gold standard. Women use her as a reference. They either tell me they don't want to be as big as her, or that they want their breasts to look like hers."

Saturday, 21 June 2008

Want Free Car Wash? Join RC

Wah lau eh!?!

Like that also can ah?

Last time my friends tell me... You want to park in your area free, join RC. But I think maybe nowadays RC members very few already so they add another perk - free car wash! Haha!

If RC member get car wash for free, then next time I see the ah neh under my block, I give him S$3.00 ask him wash my kup chai (Oei! I know the hang cheng one ok... Car Wash is S$5.00 at petrol kiosk so I give him S$3.00 is more than half price - some more have gor kak tips ok? Don't say Singaporeans are cheapskate ok?)

Online Reference: Stomp Web Site on Friday, June 20, 2008

Thursday, 19 June 2008

I Wish She Was My Teacher

Wah lau eh!?!

Anybody watched CJ7? Remember the 21-year-old chio bu who played the ordinary plain Jane school teacher in the movie?

Now look at the recent photos taken of her by the 狗仔队! Power sia! No wonder she is called the "Shandong Bo Ba" by the media lah!

If all teachers like that, then there will be fewer dropouts - everybody will be going back to school to study under her.

Now I think about my English tutor, I also wish Miss Kitty Zhang Yuqi can give me tuition. I promise to be a very good student.

Online Reference: Asiaone Web Site on Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Friday, 13 June 2008

Changi Airport Terminal 3

Wah lau eh!?!

I didn't know Changi Airport Terminal 3 so advanced one ah? I mean... Terminal 1 and 2 are good but I get the feeling that Terminal 3 is more hong bian for the people who go there. I mean look at the photos that I take and you will know that Singapore also boleh one... Haha!

Changi Airport 24 hours also very busy one... Wee wee hours still so many people!

Ah Neh go back home open electronics shop: LCD, plasma - suma also have lah...

Haha! I pretend to look at Flight Information then sup a cup of FREE plain water :P

Sorry ah... This one is not i-Robot but trolleys all line up waiting to be used.

Terminal 3 "Go Green" wor... So don't anyhow throw your rubbish. Must recycle ok?

Miss Korea 2008 - Lee Ji-sun

How to win Miss Universe title?

First you must be a chio bu. If you kana sai, please install body kit, HID lamps, engine overhaul then come and apply.

Then another thing you must do is you must get special trainer! That was how Japan won the Miss Universe title in 2007. So this year, Korea aslo copycat lah...

Miss Korea Lee Ji-sun will compete in the 57th Annual Miss Universe Competition held in Khanh Hoa, Vietnam, 14 July 2008 with the assistance of renowned trainer Ines Ligron.

Ines Ligron is the national director of Miss Universe Japan and has been working in the Japanese beauty pageant industry for the past decade and was the trainer of the Miss Universe 2007's winner, Miss Riyo Mori.

Wah lau eh!?! Like that Korea want to lose also very hard ah...

Saturday, 7 June 2008

Reduce Pollution - Ride Naked!

Wah lau eh!?!

Like this also can ah? Bueh song about pollution then mai cheng sa, mai cheng kor go on protest. Like that win already lor...

Then oil prices increase in Singapore, maybe ask a few mei mei mai cheng sa, mai cheng kor go protest don't know if can bring down prices or not ah?

Online Reference: China Daily Web Site on Saturday, June 07, 2008

Friday, 6 June 2008

Britney Goes Green?

Wah lau eh!?!

Maybe Britney Spears bo lui liao or she having second childhood. Just look at the photograph! Haha! Maybe she really jia lao huan siong and decided to play with her children's toys. Whatever the case is, please... when you get out of the car careful don't zhao keng!

Thursday, 5 June 2008

Nonsensical Post

Haha! I never thought I would be doing this but this post is for members of CH to make up their minds and faster faster vote before time is up...

Sweet as Candy Alicia

Too Fast Too Furious Eve

Eloquent and Sophisticated Jasmine

Intelligent and Witty Rachel

Sensible and Worldly-wise Spidergal

Please hor... I spent many sleepless minutes to find the most suitable photographs. I even look up the dictionary for all the spelling of the above captions.

If I so hardworking when in school kin jit teo bo ah nee cham liao...

赶快投选! Mai tu liao... Your vote is important to us!

Monday, 2 June 2008

How to Chase Bad Debts

Wah lau eh!?!

So many stories from Malaysia wor... This one is from KL; Madam Tan, a 51-year-old woman was overpowered by three men near her office, who took turns to stick their middle finger into her vagina. She complained:

"The loan sharks took a bunch of joss sticks, lit it and started burning my arms and thighs. They wanted to burn my private part too, but only managed to burn some pubic hair as I begged them to stop. They also burnt hell money and poured kerosene over me in an attempt to burn me. I was just lucky that I was not burned to death."

Aiyo! Loan shark must watch Jack Neo's "Ah Long Pte Ltd"; he got give loan sharks tips - how to chase back their money. Just ask some ah pui jie wear getai costume sing song can already.

If you don't believe, watch this clip: bulom try, bulom tau. Sekali try, hari hari mau!



Anyway, this Madam Tan also asking for it lah because every time go to loan sharks to borrow money.

The first time, Madam Tan had borrowed RM35,000 from three illegal money lenders to cho seng li (do business).

The second time, she claimed to have borrowed RM21,000 from five loan sharks to kwah loh koon (see doctor).

This time, she said she had borrowed RM19,000 from nine loan sharks to puah kiaw (gamble).

Online Reference: AsiaOne Web Site on Monday, June 02, 2008

Saturday, 31 May 2008

My Tutor is a Prostitute

Wah lau eh!?!

Before you scold me and say I am a cheeko peh, please watch the video first.


Hey, if you want private lessons just call my tutor directly; you know, prostitution is just her part-time job.

Haha! So Brother Shrek, shall I make an appointment for you?

Schoolgirl Molested and Forced to Pose Topless

Wah lau eh!?!

This one Malaysia really boleh!

Three 17-year old male students brought their female classmate to the school kum pang keng storeroom and took turns to touch the girl's breasts and private parts. They still 火上加油 and forced the 17-year-old girl to pose topless for them. Using a handphone camera, they then took photographs of her before circulating the pictures to other handphone users around Segamat, Johor.

The incident, which took place during the school's sport day in February but was only uncovered on May 26, when the girl saw the picture in her fiance's handphone.

She then lodged a police report on the day. Police nabbed three suspects at 3am the next day to facilitate investigation.

Normally I will crack some dirty joke about the whole incident but this time I think it's 太过分了 because of a few reasons:

  • - They already had their fun; why take photos?
  • - After they have taken the photos, why circulate?
  • - How come the photo is being circulated to her fiance?
  • - Why didn't her fiance "react" to the photo?
Chin GY leh...

Online Reference: AsiaOne Web Site on Saturday, May 31, 2008

Friday, 30 May 2008

FHM: Girl Next Door 2008

Wah lau eh!?!

So many girls, so little time right? The results are out - some of you are belly happy can soh pa tor. Some of you, just like me - tu lan because your favourite wet dream never win.

But, winners and losers, don't say I never take care of my Club Hyundai kakis... I've decided to put them all on my blog so that you all can see them for one more time...

Naomi Liu, 23, Lady of Leisure (Fire Woman) says:
"I like a guy who drives a Nissan Fairlady wearing a doctor's uniform ."

Cindy Lee, 24, Admin Assistant (Taxi Driver) says:
"I like a guy who drives a Honda Integra wearing a pilot's uniform ."

1st Runner Up! Cordelia Low, 20, Student (Playboy Bunny) says:
"I like a guy who drives a R8, SLK or McLaren wearing a school boy's uniform ."

Merry Chen, 28, Pre-school Operation Secretary (Doctor) says:
"I like a guy who drives a BMW Sports in a football jersey."

Sindy Ang, 18, Student / Free-lance Model (Devil) says:
"I like a guy who drives a Lamborghini wearing a business suit."

Vanessa Goh, 19, Student (Cow Girl) says:
"I like a guy who drives a Fairlady, GTR or a Golf GTI in a football jersey."

Eva Ang, 22, Model (Nurse) says:
"I like a guy who drives a MPV wearing a policeman's uniform ."

GND Winner! Mandy Soong, 19, Student (Police Woman) says:
"I like a guy who drives a Audi R8 wearing a bank's uniform ."

Jasmine Ang, 21, Beauty Consultant (Cat Model?) says:
"I like a guy who drives a Mercedes SLK wearing a doctor's uniform ."

2nd Runner Up! Elyn Chong, 21, Student (Angel?) says:
"I like a guy who drives a Audi TT wearing AC's uniform ."

Thursday, 29 May 2008

Call Who Summon?

Wah lau eh!?!

This type of situation... how ah?

Actually to be fair, Peh Tao also got good ones; not every one of them want to summon and summon and summon. I remember got one time, I was riding my kup chai when I got stopped by Uncle Sam. He told me that my kup chai rear lamp blown. Actually he could have given me some written notice but he just tell me to get it fixed and rode off.

Nice guy lah.

So for the above Tee Pee - how ah? For me, I think that sometimes rules can bend one; so long as they never break any serious offense like talk on mobile phone while driving, dangerous driving, etc. Pang chance lah...

What do you think?

Online Reference: Stomp Web Site on Thursday, May 29, 2008

Wednesday, 28 May 2008

Full SEXamination by Nurse

Wah lau eh!?!

Like that also can ah?

Stomper Joyce received SMS say got nurse can give "full examination"... So, of course Joyce called up SingTel, Starhub and M1 to complain about it cos she never subscribe and she thinks that it is "an offence to promote sex service or sex chatline in Singapore". Heng she never call the Police or the poor nurse mei mei will be out of a job... No job very poor thing one you know?

Actually she should have called me so that I can contact the nurse for a thorough, head-to-toe check up!


Oops! Er... Sorry sorry... What I intended to say was: she should have called me so that I tell her where the nearest Police Post is.


Pai seh pai seh
... Sometimes the mind think faster than the mouth... Hehehe...

Online Reference: Stomp Web Site on Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Tuesday, 27 May 2008

Not so CIVIC-minded Driver

Wah lau eh!?!

Just look at how this aunty park her car? This is what my Chinese teacher would say: 没有公德心 or not civic-minded. In this case, the aunty is really driving a Honda Civic!

Got people like her then we all drivers mia siah chow (give drivers a bad name).

According to the Stomper, the aunty claimed to be waiting for somebody. Hence, she probably figured that it wouldn't hurt to park on two lots cos it's going to be "for a while only mah!"

To top off her act, according to the Stomper, the aunty even said to him:

"Want to take picture, take lah. It's a $100K car, I can park it anyway I want. Don't be red eye just because you cannot afford one."

Her Honda Civic worth how much - I don't know. What I know is: the licence plate only got three numbers. If anybody knows the missing number or the winning combination, tolong tolong tell me! We can share on 4D. Teo liao ho say - we can also have a $100K car of our own!

Online Reference: Stomp Web Site on Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Monday, 26 May 2008

English Lessons

Wah lau eh!?!

I know my English is very bad - 阿猫、阿狗 also make fun of the way I talk and spell. They visit my blog and then they shake my head - this type of ka siao also dare to write blog, bueh kia lang chio meh?

I hear already I want to give up and surrender - just started blogging then kena splash cold water. But look at the signs below, I know there is still hope for me.

If I dead then how? Look for the Undertaker or Kane ah?

Having fun is a sin - people who have fun usually burn in Hell!

No wonder I heard something from Ah Kong and Ah Ma's room the other night...

Horny devils - there IS a cure and it's not found in a can.

You can die but if the chair is not in position and the table is dirty, we'll sue you!

I Want to Join Friends in Girls' Home

Wah lau eh!?!

All you chiko pehs and lau tee kohs after you read my title and see the photo on the left, start to have funny thoughts already right?

You think what? You want to go Girls' Home then go ah? Your grandfather - Oops! - I mean your grandmother's place is it?

And, anyway, the photo is just my way of catching your attention just like those zhong guo mei give night prowlers in Geylang half ball then make away with half of their CPF money... Haha!

Actually I am NOT referring to myself but an article I read on AsiaOne website about this 15-year-old girl who volunteer to be put into a Girl's Home so that she could be with her friends.

I thought this type of kang tau only happen in Hong Kong movies where the hero (or in this case heroine) breaks the law so that he (or she) can join her kakis in jail. Some of the reel life must have rubbed off in real life because now this 15-year-old girl is following suit.

So what's next? Anybody out there reading this blog want to rob a bank together - maybe they will give us better rates?

Online Reference: AsiaOne Web Site on Monday, May 26, 2008

Sunday, 25 May 2008

Hyundai Genesis Coupe Makes Korean Debut

Wah lau eh!?!

Who says Hyundai cars cannot make it? The latest Hyundai Genesis Coupe is a huge improvement from its Hyundai Scoupe days. The Hyundai Genesis Coupe will go on sale in Korea this September, followed by the US. I wonder when it will be made available in Singapore?

Friday, 23 May 2008

Miracle Makeup

Wah lau eh!?!

Next time you guys go out to sian mei mei, please be very careful hor... you never know; maybe she is not a mei mei but an auntie! So please be careful before you tell her you love her cos by the time she removes her makeup, it's too late to apologise... it's too late...

Plain Jane becomes Sophisticated Mary
Ugly Duckling becomes Swan Princess
Market Aunty becomes Catwalk Queen
Girl-next-door becomes Hi-class Babe
Study Mama becomes Mama-Miah

Moral of the story: Auntie, shen shen and ma cik all undergo some makeup can also become chio bu!

(Actually some of them still border-line case but give them some pak pok for effort...)