Gu Wak Zai Versus Defenseless Dog

Wah lau eh!?!

Just now got one kawan-kawan send this clip of this tattooed gu wak zai (蛊惑仔) beat up his "toy" dog. I see already sibeh tulan and sad... I am very tulan because whatever wrong it did, the defenseless dog also don't deserve up to 15 minutes of beating from this "hero" lor... If he so beng then maybe he should jio somebody his size or maybe enter the Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC) - like that then more hero lah... Beat up a defenseless dog? Lame!

And you know what is lamer? His girlfriend (can hear her calling him "dear" in the background) take video of his 英雄史 and upload to YouTube... Steady lah Goondu!

I am also sad for his girlfriend because if he can tekan the little doggie so jialat-jialat, who knows, one day he may get angry with his girlfriend and then use HER as a punching bag. By then who will take the video and post on YouTube? The dog maybe? Pity her lah... Either she bo leong sim or she bo bak chew... Either way... Sibeh jialat ah...

Wait... Wait and Wait Somemore...

Wah lau eh!?!

I got driver duty again because today got OT at the office and then this time got our Malaysia colleagues also campur and help us.

So, because everybody skipped lunch, I went to Tampines to tah pow food for everybody in the office. At first I went to tah pow Vegetarian food. Then I went to Block 201 to buy Indian Rojak for our Muslim kawan-kawans at the office.

When I reach the stall, I could not find any tongs to pick the food so I look left, look right, look up and look down, trying to find one of the stall helpers to help me.

But all of them too busy idling.

So I waited...

When I finally got one to help me, he ask one of the stall helpers for it. You know what he ask me to do? He ask me come into the cooking area and take one by myself... Wah lau eh!?! Sibeh jialat ah... How can like this one?

After one of the (busy relak one corner) helpers pass me the tongs, I selected the food and put on the counter for 'busy' stall helpers to attend to me.

Again I waited...

After a short wait of about 10 minutes, one of the stall helpers asked me if I want to makan there or take away. I told him I want to "take away" then I use my big, fat hands to make the tah pow action for him to see. The stall helper nodded his head and then ask me, "Abang, where you sit ah?"

Wah lau eh!?! Like this also can ah?

After explaining to him that I want to packet and take away the food, he put the food at the counter for his colleague to pack it up for me.

So I waited... Again...

Then, got another family order Rojak from another stall helper so the 'new' stall helper push my order aside and then deep fry the family order first... Wah lau eh!?!

He came back, packed up my food into a plastic bag. Eh? No need to deep fry meh? So I asked the guy why mine no need to deep-fry but the family one got deep fry. You know what he say? Because mine bring home; so I can ask my mummy to deep fry... This type of service really hosay!~

I in a hurry so I bo heu lah so I asked for extra chilli sauce. Wah lau eh!?! This guy give me a thirty-cent face then say loud-loud, "Hello Uncle, you order so little and then you want so much sauce ah?"

Then he asked me to pay... This time, no need to way... Hosay!~

Ip Aunt

Wah lau eh!?!

You people got watch the movie Ip Man and Ip Man 2 right? Now got Ip Aunt... Who is Ip Aunt? Wah lau eh!?! You don't know ah? Norh... She's the aunty who use the 连环拳 chain attack to chase the Afro-American char bor down the bus... Hosay!~

After I watch the video, I am so scared to take bus, especially when I see big-sized aunty (if she speak Cantonese, even worse!) Sekali she not happy then she use the 连环拳 chain attack to hantum me then I bo pian have to alight from the bus. Worse... In my hurry, I forgot to "tap out" then I pay full fare for nothing liao... Sibeh jialat ah!

Breast Education

Wah lau eh!?!

I today got nothing to do then I go to the YouTube to watch MTV then I see this video... Wah lau eh!?! Sibeh jialat leh... Got this kind of "education" one meh? See already know is another talking cock video lah... Anyway, all talk English one, a bit hard for me to understand lah...

Lucky for me, like all videos, got picture for me to see. After I see the video, I think that since that kind of boh standard shor hai can find a char bor, so can I... Hosay!~

Banana Republic?

Wah lau eh!?!

The other day Yemen beach volleyball team lose then they say cheer leaders too sexy so they concentrate on the wrong ball. That's why they lose. sExcuses only lah... Wah lau eh!?!

Now Team Singapore use the banana tactic to make the competition blur. You don't believe me then see photo below.

Team Singapore got style right? Maybe their swimwear is sponsored by GAP...... What you all think ah? Steady or not? Better than their all black swimming trunks they wear last time right?

I know sure got some people will write in complain one; even Dick Lee also say that Singaporeans famous for complaining... Oops! I forgot it's called feedback lah... Hosay!~

What I know is... After they appear in those swimming trunks, the banana at my downstairs NTUC all sold out; don't care whether is pisang raja, pisang tanduk or pisang ambon... Everything suma out of stock! Sibeh ho business ah... Steady lah!!!

Let's go Team Singapore!!!

Marriage Cancelled - Permanently

Wah lau eh!?!

Many people know that I am about to get married to the most beautiful, most sexy, most intelligent girl in the world. The night before our wedding, my wife-to-be sent me this sexy video clip as a wedding present.

So... The wedding called off liao... I will not be return the wedding presents and there will be NO REFUNDS as I will use the money for her funeral.

Thank you hor... Hosay!~

What Hair?

Wah lau eh!?!

The other day got some kawan-kawan comment that my hair very long already, need to cut then they ask me go to the hair dresser.

Ok lah... People give me constructive criticism, I must accept right? So, even though I am not in my home country (I was overseas), I steady poon pee pee one... I left the hotel and took a slow walk to the nearest barber.

Then, I decided: Better go back home then cut hair... You want, you go cut yourself; don't afterwards people ask me why I got cock hairstyle?


Wah lau eh!?! Sibeh jialat ah...