Why We Cannot Fall in Love with Our Teachers

Wah lau eh!?!

Yesterday I was clearing up my room and then I found this love letter that I sent to my Kindergarten teacher when I was still a little Ming Ming (小明明). At that time, I thought that my teacher would be the love of my life so I borrowed my lau peh's Parker Pen and then I wrote the first composition of my life...

But you see what happen?

In the end, my masterpiece come back become 满江红! And she didn't even give me the chance to tong pang her on my kah lah chia or let me clean the blackboard any more... Wah lau eh!?! (>.<)"

So the moral of the story is: If your English sama-sama my my broken Rojak market English, please don't kau the teacher. Maybe you got the better luck kau the mee see or the 空姐.

Chin GY leh... Sibeh jialat ah... (>.<)"

BMW also can get Menses

Wah lau eh!?!

I thought that only living things can kena menses... Then I saw this photograph online... This BMW licence plate covered with a piece of loh tee...

When the female driver was caught, she told the 警察叔叔 she use the loh tee because she know she will be speeding and did not want her photo to be snapped by the speed camera.

"This is the only thing I had; it's sticky, so it won't fall off," she said.

And you know how much she kena fined? 400 yuan (S$81.6)

For more details, click here... Steady lah!!! (^_^)y

Two Dollars Where Got Enough?

Wah lau eh... 岂有此理!?! (>.<)"

The other day, I went to Yishun and then I saw this guy in a wheelchair macham very cham like that so I try to be ho sim and then give him two-dollars.

Photograph taken from AsiaOne website

Usually when you give money to beggars, they will either nod their head or say thank you but this one... Really steady lah... You know he tell me?

"Two dollars where got enough? Give five dollars lah!"

Wah lau eh!?! How can like that one? My teacher last time got tell me that beg is like humbly ask for something. He like that talk to me where got humble? More like he more sombong than humble lah...

Sekali I read from the AsiaOne website, this guy got kena S$660,000 TOTO in November last year one... Then he use his winnings to buy S$300,000 three-room flat in Ang Mo Kio, got car and expensive watch. He lagi richer than me... I still wearing my old Citizen watch leh... Got one time he even take out a S$1,000 note to buy kopi at the coffeeshop. So atas!

Like that he still need to come out and beg meh?

Anyway, next time you go to Yishun-Chompang area, just watch out for this guy lah... Hosay!~<3

DIY Fork

Wah lau eh!?!

The other day, one of my colleagues blanjah me eat the canned cocktail fruits.

He opened the can and then pass it to me. Then I asked him - how to eat? Use my hand or leg?

The guy went to his table and then take all the paper clips and make a fork for me...

Steady lah!!! (^_^)y

Road Rage Bentley Driver is Training for Street Fighter

Wah lau eh!?! (>.<)"

I just read that the Bentley Driver in Road Rage Incident is RBS Exec and I think that everybody is just 大惊小怪 because they don't know the real story behind this case.

Madam Wang say she filter out of the Central Expressway (CTE) in her white Mercedes Benz into Braddell Road when a blue Bentley sekali cut into her lane and then zham brake, then she also bo pian need to zham brake.

Then an Ang Mor got out of the blue Bentley zhao chai and slammed his bare fist into her car windscreen. You see the photo? The windscreen all spiderweb already... The Ang Mor's punch sibeh power right?

Madam Wang also got say... "I was shocked by his behaviour and shocked that he could actually damage the windscreen using his bare hand. And I was afraid that he would hit me too."

They say this Ang Mor is RBS Head of Credit Structuring and Repackaging for Asia-Pacific., Mr Stefan Masuhr.

Actually, not many people know that Stefan Masuhr secret identity is really Ken Masters and he is training for the Street Fighter Tournament! And the reason why Stefan is so tulan is because he saw this video posted by Ryu on YouTube...

After he see the video, he sibeh hot... How can Ryu cheat and use the Yoga Fire and Yoga Flame? 岂有此理！See already he gwee pat thor hwei ah... And then sway-sway he kena cut lane by Madam Wang so he use her white Mercedes Benz as practice punching bag lor... Wah lau eh!?! (>.<)"

Flash What? EZ-Link Card ah?

Wah lau eh!?! (>.<)"

My mother always say - eh jia eh pang - so after my makan session with my kawan-kawan, I went to the wash room to release pressure.

Then when I inside the cubicle I saw this sign... Ask me to flash before I leave wor...

Flash what wor? EZ-Link card ah?

Chin GY leh...

$35 for a Plate of Chicken Rice

Wah lau eh 岂有此理!?!

My CEO wife come to Singapore again. So, as usual, I kena arrow to drive CEO 太太 around. Now my CEO got a new "idea" - he want to open a shop in maybe Orchard Road or some other shopping area and then let his daughter run it. He say that this is the best way to let her learn the ropes.

Wah lau eh!?! Open shop got to use rope one meh? The rope is for what? Put the Milo tin cash box one ah? Anyway, it's not my job to ask; just bring CEO 太太to see which shop is the most steady one then 下定金 and chiam miah.

By the lunch time, CEO 太太 already very hungry so ask me to bring her go the Chatterbox at Mandarin Orchard to eat the famous chicken rice.

You know people say, "一分钱，一分货" is real one... When the bill come, I almost kon kah kiau ah! You see the chicken rice smell so nice, looks so sedup but do you know how much for one set or not?

S$35.00 ok!

Don't play-play ah... If you ask me, I think I still prefer the S$2.00 one; maybe still got chance to win iPad2 leh! At the end of the makan, my tau kay soh just pay for the bill without even blinking... Sibeh steady lah!!! (^_^)y

Anyway, I got hear one customer complain why the chicken rice so expensive; last time S$17.50 but now almost double the price. Wah... I really think nowadays people very rich... S$17.50 also kum jia... Steady lah!!! (^_^)y

Anyway, for me, the makan is free so... Hosay!~<3